dear california,

i feel like i owe you an explanation.
so many people from home are saying,
"i'm worried about you...."

here's my train of thought when this phrase comes up.

first i think of chessie's saying- "i'm a grown ass woman! i do what i want!" but let's be real...i may live on my own, but i'm not really a grown ass woman. i do do what i want...and i fully realize i don't make the best decisions.

but you don't need to worry. i like that you worry, because it means you care...but i don't know how to explain myself because in my mind, i'm completely justified.

don't worry about me, california. we keep each other in check here . i have 3 mommies and they have me. i'll survive.

with love,
miss "stay out until 4 am"

dear california,

i miss you so much.
there's days where i feel like i can't stay here anymore. i want to come home. i want to see your faces.

christmas break is too far away.

i miss grilled cheese from in-n-out, hot cheetos, spitting seeds, the beach, seeing the sun for extended periods of time, hooker hunting, being in cars, kiis fm, mexican food, marble slab, friends, my dog, my bed, familiar faces...

i hope you're right how i need you to be when i come home to you, california.

with love,
miss homesick

dear california,

i'm happy here, i really am.
i don't feel like i'm learning that much in school..except for maybe psychology.

but life? learning oodles.

like the way leaves change color during fall,
and the words yo and mad.
like how deja vu is a big lie,
and the fastest ways to get rid of hickeys.
like self control,
and how to not die while in the south bronx.
like how to walk everywhere i need to go,
and that the best comfort food is top ramen.

it's funny when all the tall buildings in manhattan make me lose any bits of homesickness i've ever had.

oh yes, this is definitely the place i'm meant to be.

california, don't forget about me. but don't wait for me either. i like it too much here to leave.

with love,
carmen.