analogies of life.

it's easier than speaking truth, really.

well, pretty much, i can't stop thinking. there's so many things on my mind lately. i feel like i have so much to say, but i never know how to word it so it doesn't come out bitchy and insensitive. blah.

this is how much im thinking. okay.. like, you know those cuts you get that when the bacteria hits it the bacteria starts like multiplying and shit by the billions? that's my thought process right now. i start to think of one thing, one person, one problem...and then my mind is racing and i can't stop...

i need to just write it all down. express it? whatever.


- i don't want to like you. please don't be the one i fall for. please..and above all, please don't fall for me if i decide i don't like you. this is amazing, but i can see it ending badly. and i so desperately don't want that.
- what would i do without lists!?
- the more you become obsessed, the less i want you. really. stop. i love you but i'm pretty sure the more i think about, the more i realize you are sooooo not right for me. but i don't think i'll ever work up the courage to tell you that..
- WHERE ARE YOU. we don't talk...you're supposed to be my best friend. i want to talk to you...but i'm so afraid you're either going to get mad at me or get really defensive. i don't want to fight. i want my best friend back.
- stop acting like a personality-less person around us. really? maybe you think you're getting away with it...but you're most definitely not.
- why?!?!?!?!?!?
- am i making the right choices? ...is this really what i want? well i freaking hope so, because its set in stone now.
- why do i miss you so much? it's not even the want what i can't have..but i miss you. and i'm pretty sure you hate me.



why do you read these? really..they're a waste of time.

goodnight.



ps, analogies of love > realities of love.
just fyi.