=]

there's so much i want to say to you, but i don't think you really want to hear it. seriously though. this is getting to the point where i don't know if "just friends" will work for us. i almost want more but then i definitely don't. i want you to be over me, but at the same time, i don't exactly want you to move on. i want you to pay attention to me, but i think you're too clingy. i was thinking about it, and what it comes down to is that i'm just not happy with you like i used to be. i want to be, but it just doesn't work out. will we ever be okay?




and that was my new years resolution, to have more moments of pure happiness. speaking of which, a conversation sparked this whole realization of the first paragraph. i want to be purely happy, even if it's only for moments at a time. this happened yesterday, and i seriously could not wipe the smile off of my face. i haven't done that in quite a while. it felt SO good. i love new friends. the telling of stories that everyone has heard a hundred times. the fact that someone shows they care. especially because they already see more in me than i can often see myself. mmm. it all feels good. i hope it lasts. =]

i don't know what to make of this new situation. but it's a pretty good feeling, so i won't question it for now. haha.


...i'm gonna go not do my homework and think really hard about sadies. blah. what an exciting night.