sitting wishing waiting.

SITTING.
as i sit here, i'm realzing how many people don't really know who i am.

i mean...i guess i don't fully know who i am, either, but i'm starting to realize that so many people see me for things i am not.

ex: my dad thinks i do drugs.
RIGHT. because if you really knew me...

ex: my mom thinks im anorexic.
...really?

ex: cody thinks im so wholesome.
=/


i don't know what to make of this.
am i sending mixed signals or am i surrounded by blind people?

WISHING.

1. i want us to be done, but i can't seem to finish it off. i don't know if i want to. i wish you knew how i really really feel.
2. i want to see you more, regardless of what you think. i wish i could let you into my life completely, but i know you won't understand or know the person i've become. i wish you knew the real me, and i wish i would feel comfortable with you knowing.
3. i want us to go back to normal. i wish you knew that i miss you.
4. you...i wish you knew i existed. all those months..and look where we are. i wish you knew my feelings were sincere.

WAITING.

i'm excited for:
marble slab! graduation! summer! saturday! yearbook signing! college shopping!

i'm not looking forward to:
june 23. =/

i don't know what to make of:
college- aug. 22
graduation- june 16
changing relationships- how can i be sure it's for the better?


sitting wishing waiting.
how i love jack johnson.