as sunny as orange county is....

has it started to lose its shine?





i hope the skyscrapers will continue to hold the motivation, excitement, and love for my present and future as they did last year.



not that i think i'm too old, mature, or good for home. because i know i am most definitely not any of one of those things. but i do believe that home reminds me a little too much of the past- and not the type of past i like to dwell on. being home has lost some of its glamour- i want to be back to freedom and not having to ask permission to leave the house. it's funny how much i've stayed the same while becoming so different.

i'm just as stubborn. as much as i could never stick to one person before, i truly believe i'm sticking with this one forever.

i'm just as homesick. but i now miss new york possibly more than i missed california.

i'm just as curious. but instead of being curious about the latest gossip, i'm curious to know what the future holds.


that dear california letter i wrote months ago still seems so fitting. california, i feel, in a lot of ways did forget about me. i think it's for the best though. i still feel bad, and will always feel bad, about the parts of california that i let slip from my daily routine. the people i grew apart from. long distance relationships are not as easy as i thought they would be. IM's will never do justice to real conversations, and "just a phone call away" is a bunch of crap.

dear california,
although you may have lost a little bit of your shine, you'll always be my favorite. as many bad memories you hold, there's at least 50 good ones to make up for it. and although you may not be as comforting and exciting as you once were, i won't ever be able to say goodbye. i'll be back, and i really am here to stay. i like taking a little piece of you with me everwhere i go, since you hold a big piece of me. i've left a little bit of that in nyc, and will soon leave a little more in rome. but no matter how many stunning and brilliant places i go, no matter how much they shine compared to you- will i ever stop loving you.

with love,
a future newscaster, named carmen young, with a big house and at least 2 two kids, who stays in touch with both her california and new york friends.